I took the leap and moved over to Wordpress. You can find all of my archived content from this Blogger blog at the new site as well as all of my new content.
Please come on over to Scribblesaurus and join up via email, facebook or Linky Followers.
I look forward to seeing you there!
I took the leap and moved over to Wordpress. You can find all of my archived content from this Blogger blog at the new site as well as all of my new content.
Please come on over to Scribblesaurus and join up via email, facebook or Linky Followers.
Woke up at about 4:30am today with a coughing fit. "Hello Cold" I thought to myself. Then I said "You know Cold, you're a real jerk" and I tried to break up with it because it's not just being attentive and interested in me anymore, now it's just being clingy and stalker like. I'm just not getting anything out of the relationship, you know what I mean?
I know, I know, you guys are getting that vibe how when one of your friends keeps complaining about her boyfriend or husband, 'Oh he's such a jerk he did blah blah blah' and after 6 months of listening and sympathizing you just want to punch her in the face and tell her to either break up or shut up. Please don't punch me - I'm actively taking steps to get rid of this Cold-person.
Now the Cold is trying to break up my marriage by making me look stupid and annoying. This is what it did to sabotage my marriage this morning:
Me singing (upon walking in house after dropping Ender*): 'I thought about you for a long time, can't seem to get you off of my mind, I can't understand why we're living life this waaaaaaay'. (by Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow)
R: Stop doing that, you're going to hurt your voice.
And the Cold is SO not invited to Thanksgiving. Seriously it had better not even think of showing itself after today. I'll even help it pack up and move on out. Of my body.
Do you think the Cold will sit around somewhere listening to 'Picture' after it leaves? The irony!
*at preschool, not on the ground
UPDATE: And it had better give me my damn voice back when it leaves!!
With cold and flu season upon us and having fallen victim myself (yep, I'm still whining) I got to thinking that a cold is ridiculously easy to manage before you have kids so you really should go ahead and try to do all your sick-getting ahead of time. Here is a list of 10 reasons you might want to think about getting your colds out of the way now:
You can sit around and cough at any place in your house that you deem appropriate. Anywhere. For as long as it takes.
You can lay on the couch with your feel-better accessories all day. All day.
You only have to get out of bed to pee or grab another package of kleenex.
You don't have to be woken in the morning by someone jumping on your tender lungs.
You don't have to sterilize yourself and feed other people.
You don't have to go to the park. Or outside at all for that matter.
You don't have to hide in the garage during midnight coughing fits for fear of waking the kid.
Your dog won't get sick of having to spend time with you in quarantine.
If your throat hurts really bad you don't have to talk.
You don't risk peeing a little from coughing, sneezing or blowing your nose.
That last one was probably a little more mommy-related but I don't want to be gender racist so I'm not going to point that out...shit.
It's Sunday night and I've realized that my body is trying to kill me. I've not been this sick with a chest/throat cold since Christmas '97 when my brother couldn't stop laughing because I 'sounded like a duck'. This time around I sound like a duck again, but a really sick duck.
So R has been trying to help and that's really cool of him. Tonite he was going to take care of dinner.
R: I don't know what to do about dinner. I don't feel like making anything and the weather is too gross to go outside to pick anything up.
Me: (gasps) Just take care of you and E. I can only have hot liquid.
R: Do you want a burrito?
Me: A hot liquid burrito? Isn't that just diarrhea?
R: So no then?
Me: Share one with E.
R: He can't have a whole half of a burrito. It's way too big.... (goes and grabs coat and puts jeans on) I'm going out to get a burrito. E - do you want a burrito? And a churooodle?
I'm not feeling very artsy, rant-like (yes that's a word I just made it up) or coherent today so I thought I'd just post a rundown of random stuff that's happened in the past 24 hours. Read on at your own risk. You should probably grab a coffee or a drink or something first.
Puddle Jumping - Friday afternoon Ender and I went splashing. He loved it and I stood out on the street taking photos and vids of him in the puddle, babbling away at him with my wheezy sick voice. Several people went by, none said a word. They were boring.
Snuggies - I discussed the likelihood of owning multiple snuggies with a stranger on twitter.
Breakdown - Battling strep is really hard when you are single parenting because your husband works all the time and your toddler has absolutely no concept of how close to the breaking point mommy might actually be. So there I sat, crying because I didn't want to get up and switch the milk I already got for E into a new glass that had blue on it. The yellow glass was perfectly fine and I couldn't even really explain it to him because whispering doesn't get through to an insistent preschooler! Then I cried because I'm SICK and frustrated until my little hero put his arms around me and said 'don't cry mommy.... are you fine now?'. Then I felt like a shit for making a 3 year old feel like he had to comfort me. I'm SO winning mommy of the year this time around. Plus I secretly felt a lot better for gaining the empathy of a 3 year old and convinced myself I've done something right in raising him.
Conception - Rich came home late two nights in a row to a sweaty, feverish, lung-hacking mess of a wife waving a positive ovulation test at him. I was super considerate and left my t-shirt on to contain the vapo-rub and kept my filthy strep mouth shut while he squeezed his eyes shut and managed to do his part. Yeah - it was pretty hot. Rich said he hopes we get pregnant so he can always remember how beautiful the moment was. He is such a smartass!
Forced Pet Cuddling - No one else would enter the bedroom last night. My family sort of put me on quarantine. But I was feeling alone and needy so I ordered Kyssa to come up on the bed and cuddle with me for a kind of forced-spooning while I mumbled about how she's the only one who loves me or something. She can't complain though because when I was pregnant with Ender she curled around my tummy every chance she got. Tit for tat, dog. Tit for tat. (now a bunch of pervs are going to land here through dirty search terms...)
The Art of Being Offensive - I posted a status update on Facebook that said "So boys in the locker room are the new altar boys". Holy tumbleweeds Batman. I expected some sort of debate over that but I think it was SO offensive that everyone just did that cat thing from Puss in Boots.
Borderline Awkward Hugging - This morning I accosted Rich in the kitchen for a hug. He felt sorry for his pathetic whiney wifebot so he wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to make me feel better. So then I just stayed that way. Hugging. For quite a while - waiting to see how long it would be before he felt it would be appropriate to break contact. Did I mention he's quite a trooper?
Preschoolers can outsmart you. All the time - I've been trying to read this book called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faver & Elaine Mazlish. I got to a section this morning about a woman who puts a sign up on the entrance to her kitchen to keep her little ones out so she can make dinner. I decided to solicit Ender's opinion and said "Hey E, if I put up a sign that says 'Kitchen Closed Until Dinner' will you stay out of the kitchen?". He laughed and sort of regarded me with that expression that people get when they look at retarded kittens and said "No mommy, but I can make a sign that says 'Kitchen Open' for you.". From the mouths of babes.
A bunch of other crap happened but that's all I have time for right now. Uber-awesome Rich took E to a motorcycle show today so I can drug myself with Nyquil and sleep. Oh sweet elusive sleep. For all our faults, I think I married well :)
