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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Picture Song and Breaking up with a Cold

Woke up at about 4:30am today with a coughing fit. "Hello Cold" I thought to myself. Then I said "You know Cold, you're a real jerk" and I tried to break up with it because it's not just being attentive and interested in me anymore, now it's just being clingy and stalker like. I'm just not getting anything out of the relationship, you know what I mean?

I know, I know, you guys are getting that vibe how when one of your friends keeps complaining about her boyfriend or husband, 'Oh he's such a jerk he did blah blah blah' and after 6 months of listening and sympathizing you just want to punch her in the face and tell her to either break up or shut up. Please don't punch me - I'm actively taking steps to get rid of this Cold-person.

Now the Cold is trying to break up my marriage by making me look stupid and annoying. This is what it did to sabotage my marriage this morning:

Image by Getty Images via @daylife
Me singing (upon walking in house after dropping Ender*): 'I thought about you for a long time, can't seem to get you off of my mind, I can't understand why we're living life this waaaaaaay'. (by Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow)

R: Stop doing that, you're going to hurt your voice.

Me: Wait what? I don't sound like Sheryl Crow?

R: No.

Me: Oh. Well, do I sound like Kid Rock?

R: A little - but more gravelly. I'm not a fan.

Me: *mumble* I made R's ears sad. Thanks Cold.

And the Cold is SO not invited to Thanksgiving. Seriously it had better not even think of showing itself after today. I'll even help it pack up and move on out. Of my body.

Do you think the Cold will sit around somewhere listening to 'Picture' after it leaves? The irony!

*at preschool, not on the ground

UPDATE:  And it had better give me my damn voice back when it leaves!! 

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