How do you cope when your husband travels?

My husband travels for business and every month or two he is gone for anywhere from a few days to a week.

He is currently in Seattle (haha it's raining there) and this time around I zeroed in on the pattern of behavior that I go through each and every time he travels.

Read through my stages of being a temporary single parent after the jump.

Pure sick, pet & husband hugging, book reading, puddle splashing, pregnant getting, snuggy wearing awesomeness. Or whatever.

I'm not feeling very artsy, rant-like (yes that's a word I just made it up) or coherent today so I thought I'd just post a rundown of random stuff that's happened in the past 24 hours. Read on at your own risk. You should probably grab a coffee or a drink or something first.

Puddle Jumping - Friday afternoon Ender and I went splashing. He loved it and I stood out on the street taking photos and vids of him in the puddle, babbling away at him with my wheezy sick voice. Several people went by, none said a word. They were boring.

Snuggies - I discussed the likelihood of owning multiple snuggies with a stranger on twitter.

Breakdown - Battling strep is really hard when you are single parenting because your husband works all the time and your toddler has absolutely no concept of how close to the breaking point mommy might actually be. So there I sat, crying because I didn't want to get up and switch the milk I already got for E into a new glass that had blue on it. The yellow glass was perfectly fine and I couldn't even really explain it to him because whispering doesn't get through to an insistent preschooler! Then I cried because I'm SICK and frustrated until my little hero put his arms around me and said 'don't cry mommy.... are you fine now?'. Then I felt like a shit for making a 3 year old feel like he had to comfort me. I'm SO winning mommy of the year this time around. Plus I secretly felt a lot better for gaining the empathy of a 3 year old and convinced myself I've done something right in raising him.

Conception - Rich came home late two nights in a row to a sweaty, feverish, lung-hacking mess of a wife waving a positive ovulation test at him. I was super considerate and left my t-shirt on to contain the vapo-rub and kept my filthy strep mouth shut while he squeezed his eyes shut and managed to do his part. Yeah - it was pretty hot. Rich said he hopes we get pregnant so he can always remember how beautiful the moment was. He is such a smartass!

Forced Pet Cuddling - No one else would enter the bedroom last night. My family sort of put me on quarantine. But I was feeling alone and needy so I ordered Kyssa to come up on the bed and cuddle with me for a kind of forced-spooning while I mumbled about how she's the only one who loves me or something. She can't complain though because when I was pregnant with Ender she curled around my tummy every chance she got. Tit for tat, dog.  Tit for tat. (now a bunch of pervs are going to land here through dirty search terms...)

The Art of Being Offensive - I posted a status update on Facebook that said "So boys in the locker room are the new altar boys". Holy tumbleweeds Batman. I expected some sort of debate over that but I think it was SO offensive that everyone just did that cat thing from Puss in Boots.

Borderline Awkward Hugging - This morning I accosted Rich in the kitchen for a hug. He felt sorry for his pathetic whiney wifebot so he wrapped his arms around me in an attempt to make me feel better. So then I just stayed that way. Hugging. For quite a while - waiting to see how long it would be before he felt it would be appropriate to break contact. Did I mention he's quite a trooper?

Preschoolers can outsmart you. All the time - I've been trying to read this book called How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faver & Elaine Mazlish. I got to a section this morning about a woman who puts a sign up on the entrance to her kitchen to keep her little ones out so she can make dinner. I decided to solicit Ender's opinion and said "Hey E, if I put up a sign that says 'Kitchen Closed Until Dinner' will you stay out of the kitchen?". He laughed and sort of regarded me with that expression that people get when they look at retarded kittens and said "No mommy, but I can make a sign that says 'Kitchen Open' for you.".  From the mouths of babes.

A bunch of other crap happened but that's all I have time for right now. Uber-awesome Rich took E to a motorcycle show today so I can drug myself with Nyquil and sleep. Oh sweet elusive sleep. For all our faults, I think I married well :)

Whoa whoa whoa! WTF PETA?

I am a huge animal advocate who adopted my doggy BFF Kyssa from the Vancouver Pound almost 12 years ago. When I worked at a large law firm in Vancouver I was in charge of the firm's BCSPCA Paws for a Cause campaign every year before moving to California. So I'm not someone who just sits around at home whining about the poor abused animals, I get out there and work to make a change.

But PETA - when you start trying to scare my kid I'm gonna have to ask you to back the hell up. PETA's latest billboard campaign features a picture of a Jack Russell Terrier's head on a turkey's body with the words 'KIDS: If you wouldn't eat your dog, why eat a turkey.  Go vegan.'

If they want to target adults with these ads they can go right ahead but to set their sights on kids - that's just not cool.

Parents who make the effort to teach their children about things like helping the environment, bullying, the Golden Rule and of course compassion for all living things are to be commended and, as one of those parents, I don't appreciate scare tactics.

Does PETA even need to deliver a blow aimed at children to further their cause and, more importantly, will it even work? Consider that a National Turkey Federation survey found that 88% of Americans eat turkey every Thanksgiving as a matter of tradition. Is the dog-turkey hybrid really going to change that?

They might argue that childrens' inherent compassion makes them ideal targets for PETA's cause but I would counter that if their cause is solid enough they don't need to aim at kids. As successful as they may be, PETA might want to consider a better approach. Stop going for the 'any news is publicity' gambit and start taking the high road.

Kyssa does not agree with experimentation on animals.

And I know I know - here we are talking about PETA. Well played.

Kiddie Toes & Ding Ding

My son lets me paint his toenails. And put nail stickers on them. No this is not a problem.

Me teaching him to shake the pee droplets off his *ahem* after going potty by singing "ding ding ding ding ding ding" is also awesome and that's what happens when daddies let mommies do all the potty training.

W4E5XCZ4UHGY

The Duggars make it an even 20

If you haven't already heard, the Duggars (of 19 Kids and Counting fame) have announced that they are expecting a 20th child.

(PEOPLE.com) "The kids were all asking, 'Are you joking or are you serious?' " says Michelle. "It was a big surprise. The little ones started jumping up and down when they realized he was serious." 

Really kids?  You were surprised? Because your mother hasn't been knocked up 20 of the past 24 years?


Today you can find several news stories on the subject ranging from feel-good articles on People.com to opinion pieces on Technorati. There is heated discussion on the subject of the Duggars' faith based reasons to reject forms of birth control or, more to the point, to use the womb for it's intended purpose which admittedly is to bear children.

I'm in no position to debate the religious aspects at play here and frankly Scribblesaurus Me isn't that type of blog. But what we can do is some damned good advocacy work. That's right. I am tossing my hat in the ring on behalf of Michelle Duggar's uterus.

Photo courtesy of People.com

Pregnancy, childbirth, raising children - all wonderful things. Any parent will (or should!) agree that having a child was one of, if not the, most important and amazing things they've ever done. I'll also accept that it is likely just as great the 20th time around which I'm basing on the fact that I'm pretty sure my parents loved my older brother and I equally and I think they were still stoked when they got pregnant with me. Right Mom? Mommy?  Right?  She'll probably get back to me later...

Where was I? Right - the uterus. Regardless of any medical reasons that might suggest many successive near to full-term pregnancies and deliveries (and a quick google search on '20th pregnancy uterus' didn't produce any readily available research) it's got to get a bit old for a poor uterus to keep doing this! Can it get a frickin' break already? Maybe that 19th baby coming out at just over 1lb at 25 weeks was its way of saying 'eff this, I am so OVER it!'

(TODAY.com) “There’s no information out there about somebody having this many babies. That, I think, makes us nervous,” says Macones, chair of obstetrics and gynecology at Washington University in St. Louis, who’d never heard of the Duggars until TODAY.com contacted him.

Anyways - the only thought-provoking part of this whole story for me is to wonder what their reasons for continuing to have children really are. If it's because they love their children all so dearly (and I'm sure they do) that they can't even fathom not having more and they are able to provide for them, then ok. If it's because they like 'doing it' (and who doesn't?) but refuse to use birth control or maybe Michelle has a hankering to figure out a tater tot casserole recipe for 25, then I'm not convinced of the validity of their reasons.

Only time will tell, likely generations down the road, how their children are being affected by their decisions. Just like it will for my family and yours.

I want to hear from you. What do you think? What is your ideal family size? Is your uterus hurting just reading about this?