That was a disappointing talk about politics.

Wednesday was the big Iowa Republican Caucus. As it turns out a bunch of people who God told to run didn't actually win *coughcoughMicheleBachmanncough*. As someone said, "God is hilarious".

That's about the only funny thing about this US election stuff.

Results for Iowa Republican Caucus (U.S. Presidential Primary)

Jan 03, 2012 (100% of precincts reporting)

Mitt Romney	30,015	24.6%
Rick Santorum	30,007	24.5%
Ron Paul	26,219	21.4%
Newt Gingrich	16,251	13.3%
Rick Perry	12,604	10.3%
Michele Bachmann	6,073	5%
Jon Huntsman	745	0.6%
Herman Cain	58	0%
Buddy Roemer	31	0%
No Preference	135	0.1%
Other	117	0.1%

I honestly don't know how the US election system got so ridiculously convoluted. I'm from Canada and you basically have to pay attention to the campaigns for about 3 months. Then you make your decision and done! Unless there is a minority and then you do that more often than normal. So I'm going off about it to R the other night...

Me: How the hell do people here in the US wade through 2 years of campaigning and caucuses and primaries and blah blah blah. It's ridiculous! Who can even remember what candidate said what? They could say something different every 6 months and you have to rely on pundits to catch them! It's crazy how...

THWAP!

Piece of tanbark to the face. 

R: Oh my god! hahahahahahhahaha!

Me: What the hell was that?

R: Sorry sorry, hahahahahha tan...hahahahahhahaah bark.... AHHHHhahhahahahah

I shit you not, as I was going off on a soapbox rant about the confusing political electoral system in the US, an important topic for debate, my husband, sprawled out on the couch, eyes a piece of tanbark that my son had probably emptied out of a pocket or shoe or his underwear, laying on the end of the chaise. So R delicately angles a toe at it and *flicks* it off the couch. Hard. With his foot. And it hits my cheek right below my zombie eye. Like I don't already have enough problems. 

Side note - sub-conjunctival eyeball hemorrhage looks way creepier if you have blue irises than if you have brown ones. 

So then I thought to myself, what if, every time some asshat politician were lying or otherwise trying to persuade us with less-than-truthisms, a designated bark flipper could just ping him/her in the face with a little piece of tan bark. 

"Obama care is a government conspiracy to kill the elderly.." THWAP!

"Gay people shouldn't be allowed.." THWAP!

"I did not have relations.." THWAP THWAP!

Yeah. I'd watch way more of the debates on tv.  

Created by Scribblesaurus Me
Tanbark Injury to the Face Mofo!

By the way - I got a big fat O on my ovulation test this morning. That means 'no ovulation' to the layman. If I were ovulating it would be a big shining happy face. I guess they decided that a blank O was better than a sad face.