I search so you don't have to!

I'm so sick that I could literally just crawl under the table and sleep for the day. E started a new preschool a few weeks ago and brought home his first 'new' cold/flu bug. So he's now home sick for the third day in a row since I'm super anal about not sending my kid to school to spread the germs. I don't need those dirty looks!

Unfortunately I think it hit me way harder than it did him - which is just more fodder for my conspiracy theory that toddlers are experimenting on us. I can't string more than one sentence together right now so I decided to do a little bit of link loving this morning.

Enjoy!!

Because your biggest worry when having relations with animals should be the risk of cancer. HuffPo

We totally should have done this to Ender. And my dog. Reddit

If pizza is a vegetable then I quit. I just quit. Boston.com

Ridiculous. Everyone knows that babies can handle a good solid stabbing. MSNBC

Just wait a sec before you cut that cord! BBC

Hey Robert Pattinson! I think someone liiiikes you ;P  Twihard Delight

Ender, Ender, how does your garden grow?

Water it. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Support Movember Now!

Yep, my husband is still growing that lovely pornstache in order to support Movember:

ABOUT THE CAMPAIGN

During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces, in the US and around the world. With their Mo’s, these men raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men.

Once registered at www.movember.com, men start Movember 1st clean shaven. For the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men, known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November. Through their actions and words they raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health. 

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and Mo Sistas celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember, for Movember.  (us.Movember.com)  

So as you can see it is really a great cause. If you could find a couple extra bucks to donate, please pledge Rich and his team by following this Pledge Link and clicking the Donate button below his picture. Prostates everywhere will be forever indebted to you and that's a pretty nice feeling.

I support Movember.  Do you??

All I want for Xmas!!

The Hierarchy of the Playground - Part One

The park is the place to go if you want to see all types of parenting and children from all walks of life smooshed together in one giant heap. It's like a cold war on the playground sometimes. All the mommies trying to be friendly while keeping one nervous eye on their little ones to make sure that their own kid isn't the one who pushes little Suzie down the slide today. At the same time, they are all trying to posture to see who can come out on top of  the 'Mommy With Best Behaved Toddler' category.

Ender is actually quite mild mannered when it comes to his interactions with other kids so I don't generally have to worry that he's going to physically harm anyone at the playground. He is not slappy or pushy now (he used to straight-arm kids to the ground to claim a firetruck) but he can get very attached to certain toys and very loud when he thinks someone has taken it from him. And by 'taken' I mean started to play with it while Ender was neither using it nor aware of its existence. We're working on that :/

So we run into all kinds at the park next door and I thought it would be fun to try to define them in some way. To get started, here are some of the sub-groups that I could come up with:

1. The Aged Toddler.  Seasoned, world weary four year olds who don't like any kids less than four years old. They tend to tell the little ones to bug off whenever one strays near.
2. The Clinger.  Kids who have invisible parents. Once they spot you actively playing with your own kid they smell the compassion on you and adopt you as their own. They will talk your ear off, insist that you look at cool stuff and beg for pushes on the swings.
3. The Screamer.  These are the kids that scream so loud over random shit that their voices crack and warble. Like yelling 'THERE IS A ROCK BY THE SWING! OH MY GOD!' before taking another sip of their Big Gulp. They howl and run and smash into stationary structures with all the grace of an tiny wino.
4. The Girl Pack.  Girls who will never play by herself if there is another female child within a 40 foot radius. The girl packs will converge on a play structure and none shall enter without their permission (which is rarely granted without parental intervention).
5. The Loner.  The kids who just want to climb around by themselves or with mommy/daddy, offering up a meek smile to any random passers by and might just participate in a short, to-the-point 'look what I can do' conversation if they are feeling particularly engaging that day. Usually the two and three year old set. Ender fits in this category.
6. The Playdater.  Includes kids from any of the above categories who have arrived at the park with prior acquaintances. These kids play quite well among themselves, chatting and running and generally giving those Playdate Mommies over there on the park bench a 5 minute window to chat with another adult and drink 1/3 of a latte unfettered by tyrannical demands. Lucky bitches.

There are many variations on the above list but I just wanted to cover the groups I see the most. Feel free to comment if I've left out a major subset and I'll add it in.

In the essence of fairness I will extrapolate on the major groups of parents in The Hierarchy - Part Two (coming soon!).

Singing in the rain!
My little loner - Mickey umbrella and a bit of rain and he's good to go.

Scribblesaurus Attacks Pale Ale