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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Finding the Courage to Blog in my Own Voice

As the new year approaches (holy shit it's tonight!) I find myself reflecting on what, if any, sort of new year's resolution I might make. Normally I don't make one at all, not since I was a kid. And those consisted of 'I will try not to lose my toys this year!' or 'Barbie will never again get her hair pulled by the vacuum cleaner because I left her under the couch'. I think my last one was about 15 years ago when I resolved to have more patience and then got bored of that somewhere around January 3rd.

So, contrary to my customary New Year nonchalance, I think I may have a good commitment to myself for 2012. A resolution that I really want to stick to, to give it my all. I want to promise to myself that this year I am going to make every effort, regardless of how scary it might seem, to continue to blog in my own voice.

You see, I started blogging as a sort of information highway from my brain to my computer. Journal-ling helps me to function, concentrate, focus and remain sane. It gets all that 'noise' out of my head and allows for a freer, more expressive way of living my every day life.

A short time into this interwebutized (<--new word) journey of self-discovery, I started reading advice about how to blog and how to get followers and all of a sudden it seemed like I should be writing what people want to read instead of posting my own thoughts and ideas that are important to me. So I've struggled to remain autonomous. I want to say what I really think and what I really feel because isn't that what makes me.. well, me?

For a while there I even started to rethink my opinions based on whether some stranger would agree with them. Pardon? What the hell? It's healthy to question ourselves to a certain extent and to be open to new ideas, but in the end our differences are what makes blogging and bloggers great! You can read and follow the ones you relate to, skip the ones you don't, or even possibly open yourself to another point of view. I know I have!

What's worse is when you question whether your friends will be supportive of, or offended by, what you write. Then I facepalmed and realized that these people all know me, like, personally. If any of them are surprised by anything I might say on this blog then they haven't been paying attention! I'm an idiot for crying out loud, it's hard to miss! But they love me in spite of my quirks and that's what makes them my favorite peoples ever, because I love them the same way.

It is important for me to have my voice heard and I am equally hopeful that I might provide some support, encouragement or at least a 'Hey, I've been there too, those pants DO look stupid on your cat.' to some of my readers.

So for 2012 I promise myself, and you, that I will continue to be as honest as possible. And to work on my drawing skills. You'd like that too, wouldn't you. Yeah, I know you would. I hope you continue to read me, laugh with me and enjoy the ride.

I wish you all a wonderful, fulfilling, happy 2012. Love and be loved.

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